Events only meet one time and are organized around a specific interest or activity that happens once. These include conferences, seminars, workshops, social mixers or meetups, networking events, parties of any sort, competitions, races, etc.
I wouldn’t include places like Disneyland though because of this rule of thumb – the event participants should be like-minded and have some interest in meeting others there. People don’t go to Disneyland to be around other people who like Disneyland, they go to enjoy the theme park.
As we discussed in the first module, events are good places to meet new people. They aren’t as good as Consistent Social Groups because you don’t see the same people over and over, but they’re easier to find and there’s less risk in going – if you don’t enjoy it, you aren’t committed to any future plans.
They’re also better for meeting people than public places, which are unfortunately where most people go to meet new people (think bars, parks, malls, gyms, downtown areas, beaches, public pools, etc.).
The strategy for meeting people at One-time Meetups isn’t much different than it is for CSGs, except you need to have a better reason for starting the conversation. At CSGs, people typically expect to meet the other group members. But at One-time Events, people aren’t expecting to talk to everyone – you’re not going to talk to all 500 people at a business conference.
Just like with CSGs, you still need to prepare and build a personal connection quickly. I’ll show you how:
Preparation
Preparation for a meetup is a little different than a preparation for a CSG. Here are the main components you need to attend to:
- Understand why you are going to this event. Usually, it’s to learn information or enjoy entertainment with like-minded people. This is important and we’ll go into a lot more detail when showing you how to make strong connections in the next module.
- Properly schedule the event. Know which speakers, rooms, or parts of the event you want to go to. Know where and when they are and put them on your calendar.
- Understand and account for logistics. Know how you will get there and how long it will take. You definitely don’t want to be late to the first meetup.
- Know what you are going to wear. Different events call for different attire and you want to look good. Make sure it’s clean and ready for the day of your meetup.
- Communicate with other attendees before going. Use social media to find and connect with other attendees. Join a LinkedIn group (or make one) for this event. Or find the event’s Twitter hashtag. Talk about the event topic and see if a good conversation begins. If so, you can try to meet each other at the event.
It’s much easier to connect with people at One-time Meetups when you’re prepared. You’ll have reasons to talk to people, an answer when they ask you why you’re there, you’ll look good, and you may even have people that you’re already planning to meet up with.
Visualize the Event
Next, you want to have an idea of what the event will be like. You don’t need to write this down and it shouldn’t take long, but it’s good to know what to expect when you show up. Here are some questions you should think through and visualize before heading out the door:
- What do you need to do when you get to the event? Do you need to find a signup booth, knock on someone’s door and introduce yourself, find the event coordinator in a park, find the workshop room and take a seat, or something else?
- How will you start meeting people? I’ll go through the specifics of what you should do, but what will the situation look like? Are people huddled around talking, are they sitting in seats, are they getting food or drinks, and what are people doing before the event starts? Think about what opportunities you will have to introduce yourself to people.
- How can you interact with people during the activity while leaving a positive impression? At a conference, you may tell the person next to you that you publish your notes online and that you’d be happy to give them the link. At a party, you can offer to get someone a drink when you go to get yourself one. Or even compliments and nice conversation can do the trick. Get creative.
- How can you connect with people before you leave? People often mingle before leaving the event. They may talk about the event or just socialize. Think through the different ways you can connect with people before they leave so you can make a good impact.
- How else can you connect with these people? Maybe there are breaks during the event. Maybe you can talk to the person next to you before and after the speaker comes on. Maybe you’re doing an obstacle course race and you help a stranger over a wall.
This exercise helps you visualize the event and prepares you for the different situations you’ll meet people in. The more prepared you are, the better your chances of success.
How to Meet People at Events
Your goal for meeting people at events is the same as it is at CSGs – you’re trying to get a conversation started and get the person’s first name. That’s it.
Once you’ve done that, you can start building a connection with them, which we’ll discuss in detail in the next module.
At events, you need to have a reason for starting conversations and that reason needs to be apparent to the people you talk to. If they are wondering why you are talking to them, you’re doing something wrong. Common reasons for talking to someone at an event are:
- You might enjoy their company and conversation.
- You have a question.
- You have something you want to tell them.
- You’re interested in meeting like-minded people, and they might be one. This could be for personal reasons (making new friends) or business reasons (like building your network and finding people to do business with)
Now, you don’t need to literally say any of these (like, “Hi, I have something I need to tell you.” Or, “I’m looking to make new friends.”), but the intent should be pretty clear.
For example, I might turn to someone standing near me, extend my hand for a handshake, and say, “Hi I’m Rob. Are you enjoying the event so far?” It’s pretty obvious that I’m talking to them because we may enjoy having a friendly conversation.
Here are the best ways to start conversations at events:
- Ask a contextual question. Do you know who’s speaking next? Are you enjoying the event so far? How do you know the host?
- Make a contextual statement. Wow, you’re a way better note taker than me :). Dude, those are cool boots. The food here has far exceeded my expectations.
- Introduce yourself (followed by contextual question or statement). Hi, I’m Rob – what’d you think of the first speaker?
As you can see, the best ways to start conversations at events are by talking about something contextual first. You’re just testing the waters to see if they’re interested in having a conversation. If they are, you can keep the conversation going and start getting to know them.
The best contextual questions and statements are based on the topic of the event and the reasons you’re there. But you can also ask or talk about the food, weather, building, setup, location, crowd, their clothes, or anything else that’s relevant to both of you.
You’re able to assume that they’re willing to have a conversation because you’re both at an event where it’s common to socialize with others. If you were just out in public at the grocery store, it’d be a little weird because people aren’t prepared to stop and talk to strangers for no reason.
You need to get their first name ASAP. If you don’t begin the conversation by introducing yourself, you need to do it quickly after so they will give you their name. (If they don’t offer their name, just ask). Once you get their name, start using it. This is critical to building a personal connection.
That’s it, once you start the conversation and get their first name, you’ve met someone at an event. You’re then ready to build a connection with them, which is the basis of Module 3.
Action Steps:
1. Make sure you’re prepared for the event or activity.
- Understand why you are going to this event.
- Properly schedule the event.
- Understand and account for logistics.
- Know what you are going to wear.
- Communicate with other attendees before going.
2. Attend the event.
3. Start conversations with other attendees.
- Start a conversation. Use these tips to help:
- Ask a contextual question.
- Make a contextual statement/compliment.
- Introduce yourself.
- Introduce yourself.
- Get, remember, and use their first name.
That’s it for this lesson. If you want to learn how to meet people in other situations, check out the other lessons in this module. Otherwise, go to the next module where you’ll learn how to build strong connections and start developing new friendships with these people.